This weekend is Valentine’s day. A day in which husbands and wives, boyfriends and girlfriends, and people in relationships are supposed to be finding ways to show the significant other in their life just how much they care.
This is usually done in a variety of ways. Such as giving the lady in your life roses, chocolates, buying her something which she has been wanting, taking her out to a nice dinner, or even a night on the town. The way that women have shown their love for their man is much the same. However, starting this Friday that is all about to change.
Why you ask? Simply because the movie Fifty Shades of Grey hits theaters across the country, in what is sure to be the most watched movie since The Hunger Games. And just in case you don’t know anything about the movie Fifty Shades of Grey … Let me fill you in just a little.
Fifty Shades of Grey is the first book in a trilogy which follows the relationship between an innocent virgin, Anastasia Steele, and a powerful, but emotionally damaged business man, Christian Grey. Like most romance novels, the books deal with their extremely complicated relationship, including his attempts to seduce her into his bed. Yet there’s nothing normal about the seduction, as his seduction is to convince Ana to join him in a sado masochistic bondage sexual relationship.
In fact, the trilogy is so popular that there have been over 100 million copies of the books sold worldwide, and it has had such a great influence on our society that there are now BDSM clubs popping up all over the country, sales of toys and attire used in the lifestyle have gone through the roof, and women from all walks of life and all different backgrounds have become intrigued by the lifestyle.
My question for everyone who is considering spending money to go see this movie is this: Do you believe this is truly a good idea for you? It’s not if you value your relationship with your significant other, and this is why.
First of all, I know that it is only a movie, and a movie is not real life. However, I want to try to convince you not to see the movie by giving you a list of things that I feel you should know in order to be able to make the best choice by just saying no to seeing this particular film.
Now with that being said, there is no one who can convince me that a theater full of adults watching what is basically a soft porn flick together is a good idea at all. Not to even mention, that the sad part about this book, and eventually this film, is that it has such an impact on the people who are intrigued by it, that it will lead to numerous relationships being destroyed.
As a pastor, I have to live life in the trenches, helping couples to work through relationship problems, striving to save bad relationships and marriages. In doing these things, I have come to realize that maybe the biggest problem with relationships and marriages in today’s world is pornography. Pornography possibly ruins relationships and marriages at a higher rate than financial issues and affairs currently do. Pornography gives a false sense of what a relationship is supposed to be. Pornography gives a false sense of what makes a woman beautiful or a man handsome. Pornography brings about comparison which can lead to ruined relationship due to a horrific view of what is normal.
I truly believe this film will have the same type of impact. There will be people who are in wonderful relationships which will view the film and truly believe that taking their relationship to the level of the couple in the film will make it even greater. There will be people who will go and view the film only in hope that it will cause their significant other to live out a fantasy they have. There will be people in broken, damaged relationships who will walk away believing that this lifestyle is a way to fix their problems.
Sure most of these couples don’t believe that a movie can have that type of impact on their life, but remember this. The things that you think about, the things that you lust for, those are the things that will become part of your life. People in general do not go to see a movie that involves murder or fighting and lust for those things, but with this movie and this topic, that will not be the case.
Not to mention, that some people will get so caught up in this film that they will believe that the type of relationship portrayed in the movie is the perfect relationship. That physical pain, abuse, and humiliation between two people who care for each other is what takes a relationship to the next level.
Yet none of those things have anything to do with a perfect relationship. In fact, the greatest portrayal of a perfect relationships is the picture of Jesus and His church. It is the perfect image of the type relationship that a husband and a wife are supposed to have. It is a relationship that is built on built on the exact opposite of pain, abuse, and humiliation. It portrays a relationship based on tender care, loving kindness, and sacrifice.
In addition to the pornographic side of the movie, there is the lust issue. Jesus said that you should not lust for anyone other than your spouse, and there is a reason for that. The one that you love should not have to worry about who or what you are thinking about when you are with them. The lust caused by this movie may well lead to the person you care for developing that complex, and do you really want your spouse feeling they are inadequate based on a movie that you choose to watch together. I would hope that your answer is a resounding no.
Last, but definitely not any less important, is the fact that this movie portrays women simply as an object to be used by men for sexual pleasure. Yet women are so much more than that. They weren’t put here simply for our pleasure, they were put here to be our partner, our companion, our best friend, and most of all … someone who we love and respect. None of those are things which are portrayed by this movie.
So do yourself a favor. If you are considering seeing this movie, consider saying no, simply for the sake of your relationship. Plus, if you really need to see a movie about relationships, go to Red Box and pick up a copy of Fireproof. That is a perfect example of a great way to improve your relationship.
Salad Bar Christianity 